Heart of a Disciple: The Twelve
Part Eight
It’s refreshing to realize The Twelve were everyday people yet the Lord saw destiny. He didn’t want a group of ‘yes men’ or ‘super-believers’; He wanted examples of our incredible uniqueness and Thomas joins us there.
Jesus likes nicknames, Peter the Rock, James and John sons of thunder, and now Thomas, called the Twin (Didymus), his nickname in the lower story. Was he a twin by birth, we don’t know, however, we do know the upper story has a spiritual meaning of double-mindedness or wavering between two sides. John’s the only gospel writer who gives us detail into his personality showing us the heart of a disciple.
When Jesus boldly returned to Judea to raise His friend Lazarus from the dead His disciples were concerned about His safety, but Thomas encouraged the others to accompany Him even if they have to die with Him. Was it faith or giving into the sense of impending doom? Here’s the thing, Thomas was a new follower, we have no evidence he truly believed that Jesus was the Messiah until after His death. Thomas only looked at the lower story and Jesus had to teach him to look at outward circumstances with heavenly eyes: a spiritual viewpoint. That’s the heart of a disciple; growing into a follower of Christ.
It isn’t lack of faith that causes us to question God, but there’s often internal struggles, twin thinking, that ‘tug of war’ in our minds that we have to work through with the Holy Spirit. It’s a sad commentary when we think of ‘doubting Thomas’ as a weakling because Jesus specifically chose him; not everyone is ‘heavenly minded’ like John, most of us struggle with simple faith that needs reassurance. Remember when Jesus was giving His disciples His last words of wisdom (John 14:1-5) about coming back for them after He leaves? Thomas, lower story thinker, countered Jesus with a comeback that they really didn’t know where He was going so they couldn’t possibly know the way! Jesus loved that kind of heart that was childlike, but progressing little by little, step by step, in his faith journey.
Thomas’ pinnacle moment was when his wavering doubt caught up with him, the lower story side was winning (John 20:24-29), consequently he didn’t believe Jesus was alive,
“I won’t believe it unless I see the nail wounds in His hands, put my fingers into them, and place my hand into the wound in His side.”
Our merciful Lord knew Thomas’ heart allowing him to physically experience His resurrected body and finally declare his faith,
“Put your finger here, and look at My hands. Put your hand into the wound in My side. Don’t be faithless any longer. Believe!” “My Lord and my God!” Thomas exclaimed. Then Jesus told him, “You believe because you have seen Me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing Me.”
We win the struggle of ‘twin thinking’ when we recognize there’s an upper story to every lower one with increasing faith.
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